Good morning yall. Havent updated for 11 months now, and reading
an old acquainteces new entries, decided to repost a little
tidbit on whats happened in my life.
So me and Joy broke up 8 months ago. For good.
Shes with someone else now and happy. I hope
I kinda screwed around trying to find someone to replace her,
but it didnt really work. I dated a lot of whores
and did a lot of whorish deeds.
I hit rock bottom.
On top of it, I started smoking weed again
big time.
Every day. All day
Last year me and a friend got caught leaving school to smoke pot.
Big investigation
3 arrests.
countless tickets.
Over the summer, did some coke again
Only a couple times.
But still.
When I was with her, i was clean.
I smoked cigarettes
but never drank
never thought about weed
was completely against any alcohol.
I changed so much.
But still as low as a sank,
im glad i did it.
Cuz i've learned so much
about myself
about others
about life
about whats ok
and whats horribly wrong.
almost got my ass kicked learning.
but i dont fuck around like that anymore.
Quit smoking weed for school.
I cant fail anymore.
I need a good life.
I want to turn it all around.
But i dont have the right friends to help me with it anymore.
Theres constant pressure all around me
cuz i was that far in with the drug scene.
None of my friends dont smoke.
It doesnt make it easier.
But I'm clean.
And the craving dies down every day.
Its all good.
So just when I thought i forgot about her
she comes back.
and we start to talk.
and shit gets worked out.
but she gets me thinking about the past again.
about everything i did wrong.
about everything i regreted.
I feel horrible all over again.
So all i can do is accept its over and theres nothing i can do about it now.
Just gotta stop fucking up with my future girlfriends.
But thats it.
I might ramble tomorrow.
Might not.
But leave me some comments.
Questions about my life.
Concerns ( people have a lot nowadays)
I'm an open book.
